Three months….only three months…I’m not complaining.

 

Julie and I spent the third month together so splendidly. I had so many laughs from it but five times as many kisses as well. Julie has the sweetest touch and the most entertaining body language, especially when she laughs, keeps from laughing, or passionate a gentile. Even in the dark she is beautiful. But either way our time we spent had come to an end.

 

Kitty and I have been talking since we dropped off Julie at seven today. We talked together with only me and her for four hours straight in the car. It is a change that I like. We are becoming more like sisters. Of course, I already considered her a sister but we did do out share of bonding that we do every once in a blue moon. But tonight it was different, it was more in depth, it was more my views tonight. We got started talking about our dreams we used to have and how we have changed since we were little. Then we veered off and segued into the subject of me, how I was not like most people in the south, how I was not a Christian believer, how I had a different orientation to that of the common southerner. She got me to start talking about how my life was growing up being who I was and how I am. She got me to say how I felt about Julie that I was unable to tell anyone else in person. She got me to smile. We talked about the relationship Julie and I have. I told her how I had wanted to be with her even after college. I told her about my dream about proposing to her. I told her about some of the difficulties she and I are having with her parents, her past feelings about being how I am, how this kind of life is so new to her. Kitty, I could tell by the look on her face and the tone of her voice, gained a new perspective for Julie and a new respect for her as well. She understood everything Julie was going through. But then we went back to talking about how I would come out to my own parents. She gave me advice on when or how to do it. She helped me on my timing with the consequences I would have to face when I do come out to them. She told me that if I told them early, like if I were to tell them now, they might not believe me and might think that I did not know what I was talking about.

 

But then that connected to me explaining how I knew I was different from the very start. I knew I was going to be different from the other kids at a very young age. Then I came to learn about how I was labeled as in society. I said to her how in the beginning of middle school I came to cope that I was what I was and that I cannot change it. What I was is a disease and that there was something wrong with me. During the middle of my junior high school career I went into denial that it was not a disease but only something I made myself into. I told myself that if the world did not need anyone like me then I should just leave myself out of the world and drove myself into depression and ultimately into self destruction, until I met Liz and Blake. They helped me out of that and opened me up to a world where I am what I am and I was not alone. My last year of middle school brought me to accept myself with who I am and not what everyone said I was. I got myself to open up to what I was so afraid of before. I told her everything.

 

Then I got to telling her how I had a crush on someone but I was still dating someone that Blake hooked me up with. I don’t blame her for out mutuality. But I told her how I would always watch her from the window and seek her out and wish to be near her. I told her how I had been waiting for the longest time just for that one moment we had together when she whispered that we should be together. She understood the long process I had gone though to get to the point where we were today at our three month anniversary.

 

I thought of the time I knew her name to the time when I could not stop thinking about it, to the time I first saw her face to the time I never wanted to stop looking. It might have been only three months that we have been together but the months before then were the greatest foundation we had to share together to get to what we are now. It is what we went through that tells us that it will last forever; it is what tells me that now. Kitty made me realize that it does not matter how long a couple we are together that makes it a long time it is how long we love each other that makes it forever.

 

Happy Anniversary for the Third Month Julianne.

 

I cannot wait until Always and Forever with you.